Quick Review:Sorority Row

Not much to say about Sorority Row,I barely made it through,and had more fun playing with my hangnail than watching this. I didn't have much hope for this by I held out a little hope that it would be somewhat entertaining,I was wrong,not even close to being entertaining.

The plot is a simple,a group of sorority sisters kills one of their own in a prank gone row,dump her body down the mineshaft amd decide to keep it a secret,kind of like I know what you did last summer.Of course we all know what happens next,as graduation approaches someone decides to start knocking all of the sisters off one by one.

The movie is not scary at all and doesn't have any but of tension whatsover,not to mention the fact that all of the girls are so annoying and unlikeable that you can't wait to see who gets offed next.The only somewhat likeable girl was Cassidy(played by the hot and sultry Brianna Evigan),she is the one girl who feels guilty and wants no part of what her sisters did.The dialogue is corny while trying to be funny and some of the choices the girls make are somewhat laughableThe killer was painfully obvious from the get-go if you followed any of the standard 90s slasher flicks.Another funny thing is the killers weapon,a pimped out tire-iron...yes I'm serious.After all those bad points what can one hope for...I say nudity,and we get some tits and ass but we really don't get much of that from any of the main girls and that is lame.

Sorority Row lacks suspense,tension,smarts,scares,likable characters,pretty much any ingredient you need for a successfull slasher flick.I say skip this and stick with the 90s slashers flicks and my guily pleasure..Urban Legend

4/10

A Nightmare on elm street..trailer 2

Another promising trailer for sure,I know,I know it's PD and Michael Bay behind it but I really do hope they pull of a good film here,Freddy has always been the scariest to me and from the looks of this he will be scary again.The dream sequences look solid(a few in particular have caught my eye such as the one at the opening of the trailer)and they are keeping some of the originals death scenes which I like cause those are just classic(I just hope they don't go to CGI heavy on them like this scene appears to be)

The gore looks like it will be there,now I just hope some of the characters unlike the F13th reboot are likable,plus I pleased to see Katie Cassidy in this,she's damn hot.And I believe Jackie Earl Haley will nail the role,though I'm sure for some people like myself it'll be hard not seeing Robert Englund as Freddie.Haley's voice sounds creepy.

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New poster from a NOES 2010

Honestly,it's ok but reminds too much of all other PD movie posters.I miss old 80's style posters,such great creativty in those,almost an artform

here is the original

Quick Review:The House of The Devil

During the 1980s, over 70% of American adults believed in the existence of abusive satanic cults. Another 30% rationalized the lack of evidence due to government cover ups...the following is based on true unexplained events. This is the first thing you see when you watch Ti West's House of the Devil and gets you in the mindset you need for this.Taking place sometime in 80's, this film really feels like it was made in the 80's.The HAIR!!outfits,settings,camera shots and even the music take you back 30 years in time.
College sophmore Samantha(the adorable Jocelin Donahue)desperate for money after getting a new apartment,takes what she thinks is an easy baby-sitting job at the isolated mansion of the Ulman family.

I have already heard people saying that this movie was too slow,boring and uneventful and I completely disagree with all of that.Ti West builds tension slowly but surely as he crafts a smart,scary and unnerving experience instead of relying on the shock scares we see too much of nowadays.The atmosphere and mood he creates here is a pleasure.

We meet the very creepy Ulman family,who right from the get-go don't seem right.Mr Ulman(Tom Noonan) is smooth talking and seems to be missing a screw somewhere,his wife Mrs Ulman is equally as strange but Sam is so desperate for money she is able to overlook this. We have numerous foreboding shots of the mansion,from the outside to the inside as Sam wonders through most of the rooms of this big,dark and eery house.Ti West with all these shots was able to make the house in itself a character which is brillant.We the viewer know something isn't right from the get- go but don't know what or when or where something bad will befall Sam. Since this takes place is the 80's there are no cellphones or facebook updates and this creates a brillant sense of isolation.We are KEPT on edge and unnerved for most of the time just waiting for shit to hit the fan,for Sam to feel the heat,And when it does it is well worth the wait with all the mood and atmosphere setting that prevously went on.West couldn't have crafted it much better than this,it takes talent to make a film like this.

Performances were also very good,newcomer Jocelin Donahue(Sam) was very likable,downright adorable and easy to root for.I hope we see more of her in the future.Tom Noonan(Mr Ulmsn) is wonderful,he demands attention the way he so smoothly talks.Mary Woronov plays Mrs Ulman and also does a good job of coming across as a creepy older lady.Small role also by Dee Wallace as the landland.

Ti West is definitely someone to keep an eye out for in the future.I dig his slowburn style and the fact that he relies more on atmosphere and mood.House of the devil definitely delivered and is a nice return to early's 80s classic horror
9/10

Newcomer Jocelin Donahue

Put on quite a good performance in House of the Devil.I was intrigued by her so I went to look what else she has been in.The Burrowers along with a few small other roles.Googling her I found an interesting interview with her and about House of the devil...

Here are some of her quotes on House of the devil and other stuff,I love this girl

"We really wanted to build suspense" she explains."Isolation is a big part,its about how scary it is to be trapped in a house all by yourself,cut off.something that doesn't happen much".

"I think audiences really do want something different from the toture porn out there-the Michael Bay stuff"

Score!!!

read the rest of her interview here
http://www.pretty-scary.net/content/jocelin-donahue-house-devil-burrowers

New crush

=Emily Blunt

seems I have a new one every week,she is gorgeous in the wolfman,something about her!!

House of the devil

I have been recommended this by quite a few people,a throwback to late 70's early 80's horror directed by Ti West.Let you know how this turns out,hope they haven't gotten by hopes too high.

Quick Review:Jennifers Body

Or should we call this was Megan's body!!!

The plot of this one is fairly simple,High school cheerleader Jennifer Check is turned into a flesh craving succubus by an emo-inspired satan worshipping band,leaving her best friend Needy(Amanda Seyfried)to deal with the consequences.

I watched this and then later found out that Diablo Cody had also directed Juno which I've only seen parts of.I didn't have may expectations for this one other than to google at Megan Fox but what I got was a pretty fun and entertaining horro(if you will)-comedy that reminded me of some bad 80s movies..in a good way.Megan Fox was born to play this role and is a treat for the eyes,and I actually think she fit in quite well with Cody's quirky dialogue.Although at times the dialogue got on my nerves for trying to be too cool(Example:Hey Monistat..whats up vagisil..you're lime green jello and you can't even admit it to yourself).I guess in the future we will see if Fox is capable of taking a more serious role to prove herself as something other than eye candy.Jennifer and Needy's relationship was interesting to watch also,the hottie and the nottie in a way.Needy always does what Jennifer wants her to do according to Chip(Needy's boyfriend).But it is Jennifer that is actually jealous of Needy,and even jealous of her relationship with chip.Seyfried(Needy) does a good job in this as well,I actually cared for her and even her boyfriend Chip.Both were very likable.Gorewise there were a few nice images(a split open corpse,intestine munching,bites,blood and a black bloodlike substance spewed out by Jennifer).

The soundtrack was quite good also,low shoulder's through the trees is quite catchy.

For anyone looking for a serious,thought out movie..skip Jennifers body..obviously.For people looking for a bloody,fun ,eye candy loaded and mindless 90 minutes with hottie Megan Fox strutting around...this is your film.It's too bad Megan's nude scene was cut..I think it really would have made some extra dough if that was included,but there at least a makeout scene between Megan and Amanda.

7.5/10

This years sports illustarted cover girl is

Brookyln Decker,Andy Roddicks girlfriend or wife...lucky guy.As hot as she is no one tops Marisa Miller

Quick Review:Phantasm II

Phantasm II takes place immediately after the first Phantasm,but first shows a quick rehash of the end of the first Phantasm in which Reggie is consoling Mike about his brother Jody's death.Mike rushes upstairs to pack in his bags as him and Reggie decide to get away for a while,Mike is pulled into a cupboard by one of the tall mans zombie dwarves...Reggie rushes upstairs,and after a short batttle with zombie dwarves,gets Mike back,blows the house up as he and Mike jump out through the window...Now we thought Jody had killed the tall man at the end of the first and that Reggie was also killed by the lady in Lavendar....but apparently that was all a dream...at least in the Phantasm world.

Now 8 yrs later Mike is about to get out of a mental institution after admitting to them the Tall Man and all of these stories are..just a dream even though he knows they are not.Mike who was played by Michael Baldwin in the original is replaced by James Le Gros which was the studio's idea.Simply put, to me he felt out of place and I didn't care for his acting,he was not believeable and his timing of lines were way off.I also just couldn't stand his face,something about it really bothered me.So ahh Mike gets out of the mental institution,and is haunted by a girl named Liz in his dreams who is also in trouble with the tall man and evetually joins forces with Reggie(thank goodness Reggie Bannister was in this)to hunt down the tall man once and for all.The Tall Man is now making his way accross the small towns in the U.S. turning them all into his dwarf army.Mike and Reggie pick up a girl who might not be good along the way before finally finding the girl Liz in Mike's dreams and the tall man in Perigord Oregon.

The deadly spheres are back(the best scene featuring a grave robber getting torn inside by a sphere before the sphere eventually rips apart and gets stuck in his mouth leaving it mangled)the zombie dwarves are back,the grave robbers are back and Reggie is back.But something in this film is lacking when compared to the first Phantasm.Maybe it was the fact that in the original you never knew if what was happening was a dream or real,and in this one everything seemed less dreamlike and made more sense which doesn't work for a Phantasm movie.In Phantasm things aren't what they seem and you never really know whats happening so trying to make sense is a fail in my book.At least the ending reverted to the original Phantasm logic...leaving us guessing what the hell just happened.
6/10

Currently viewing:Pandorum,Phantasm 2

Quick Review:Legion

I remember seeing trailers for this and thinking wow,this looks like it could be cool so I decided I would see it when it came out.I usually don't go by reviews but man did this get slammed by fans and critics,and this time I did agree with them.This movie was not good...period.

The premise is basically that God has lost faith in humanity and has sent a legion of angels to the earth to bring on the apocolypse and kill Chariles(Adrianne Palickis)baby which we learn is our only hope for a new future though we have no idea why.Archangel Michael changed sides when he couldn't do this task and now is helping a group of survivors,who we never learn why were unaffected compared to the rest of humanity(notables are Denis Quaid,Kate Walsh and Palicki) at a diner fight off these legions.

First off I didn't buy the fact or maybe the notion that god hates us all which seemed like a point director Scott Stewart was trying to get across."Fed up with all the bullshit" is a line explaining Gods thought in an early scene voiceover.There were no scares whatsover,the best thing I can say is the scene where the seemingly nice old lady starts dropping F-bombs and climbing on the celing is a hoot.

The token remote location is present,The acting is really below par in this movie also,Lucas Black(playing the innocent love stricten nice-guy) was horrid.He tries to speak in a twang and constantly has this dumb look on his face along with a furrowed brow.Him trying to look intense is about as funny as a Paulie Shore movie.Tyrese Gibson is the token Black guy and Denis Quaid looked disinterested also.Newcomer Willa Holland I thought was the best out of everybody and she's quite cute also.

Just cause you put a religious spin on a typical siege movie doesn't mean it's a movie that should be trying to come across as serious.Not a movie I'd even recommend even for useless fun.Maybe watch this when you are drunk and it'll be somewhat fun.

4/10